


What's new, Michael?

by pyropinkfish



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Bird Gavin, Cat Michael, Gen, Hybrid AU, Jaguar Ryan, Ram Geoff, Songfic, gavin needs to not, more like typical bullshit, the ships r there if u believe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-27
Updated: 2015-11-27
Packaged: 2018-05-03 15:12:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5296163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyropinkfish/pseuds/pyropinkfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine Hybrid AU Bird!Gavin and Ram!Geoff singing Tom Jones' "What's New Pussycat" at Cat!Michael, with a "It's Not Unusual" thrown in. </p><p>Dedicated to Spencer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's new, Michael?

**Author's Note:**

> Me at 4:32am : Consider this: Gavin singing "what's new pussycat" at Michael. How do you respond?  
> Spencer at 4:33am : Loud yelling and by inserting one it's not unusual 
> 
> I took 3 hours to write this fucking sin. For one goddamn joke.

There’s something off-putting about listening to Gavin giggle that annoying chirp-coo noise for the past ninety seconds that has Michael on edge. He could just feel the approaching irritation coming on before he even realized it. 

Gavin didn’t pay attention to the cat at first, choosing to look at his phone while the next game they were to play booted up. He continued to laugh at whatever was on the small screen and Michael knew it shouldn’t have put him on edge. Except this was Gavin he was dealing with, and he had been exposed to him long enough to know that whatever was humouring him that much can’t be anything good. 

“Hey, boi. What’s so funny?” 

Michael decided to just get it out of the way and ask. Whatever it was can’t be that bad, right? 

The bird startled, slamming his phone screen first into his lap before Michael’s heightened vision could read it. A gesture that doesn’t ease the growing uneasiness inside the cat, considering there was no way he could even get a good look at the phone from beforehand anyway.

“N-nothing.” 

Now, normally Michael would chalk Gavin’s unusual behavior off as the man just being weird, but when he couldn’t even stutter out “nothing” without snickering, the cat felt like he had a reason to be concerned. Or at least, he wanted in on the joke too. 

None the less he narrowed his eyes, waiting for some form of clarification from the bird, but Gavin just picked his phone back up and turned away from him. And after a few minutes the excitement seemed to die down, leaving Michael to brush the situation off, figuring he wouldn’t get answers anyway. 

That was until Gavin cleared his throat, turning his chair back to face Michael. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Gavin’s wings fluff up, the tell tale sign the man had either a stupid statement to make, or worse, an even more dumber question to ask. 

Just knowing he’d regret it, Michael chose to face him, cocking his head as his tail swished back and forth in an almost warning manner. 

“What’s new pussycat?” 

Michael squinted, unsure if he heard him right. 

“.... What the fuck are you on about?” 

As soon as he asked, he regretted it. Not only did Gavin hit a button on his phone to cue up Tom Jones’ _What’s New Pussycat,_ he had the gall to sing along with it. And very poorly at that.

Pussycat, Pussycat, I've got flowers  
And lots of hours  
To spend with you.  
So go and powder your cute little pussycat nose!

Naturally Michael stared while the full reality of what was happening to him sank in. But as soon as Gavin utterly lost it when trying to sing along, laughing too hard from the gut to even breath, Michael took it upon himself to lunge at him. 

Gavin’s phone was thrown across the room, both of their chairs were knocked on their sides, and Gavin ended up pinned at the bends of his wings with Michael hovering over him. With dark eyes, Michael hissed in the bird’s face, not noticing the other men in the room had been laughing along with Gavin. 

“Oh my god, shut the fuck up Gavin. I swear to god, I’ll claw your wings off.” Michael continued to hiss, his ears pressed down flat as Gavin reached up and booped his nose with a wide grin.

Absolutely outraged and surprised by the nose-booping, Michael leaned away and crinkled his face. That’s when Geoff swooped down to grab the discarded phone, hitting pause to the god awful song. 

“Geez, Gav, gonna be soon kissing his sweet pussycat lips?” The ram teased, examining the open Youtube app with the song pulled up. 

Michael turned his head so fast he would have sworn he gave himself whiplash.

“Don’t you dare start. Or I swear-- I’ll quit!” How could this happen to him. He trusted Geoff and this is the betrayal the man offered. 

“Awh, it’s okay pussycat, I love you.” Geoff grinned, voice refusing to hit the high notes so his half assed attempt at singing came out as a voice crack during the word “love.” 

“I fucking quit.” Michael groaned. While he kept Gavin pinned, he shifted to sit on his legs instead of holding down his wings so it was easier to deliver a deserving punch to Gavin’s stomach when the bird wouldn’t stop laughing. 

“Whoaaah whoa ohhhh.” Even Ryan chimed in and all around, Michael gave him the most hurt look. 

“What the fuck Ryan?” Michael stressed the “an” part of his name. “Us cats are supposed to stick together.” 

Ryan offered a sheepish shrug and continued to hum the rest of the song as Gavin tried to wiggle free from Michael.

“You guys fucking suck.”


End file.
